ILA ITALIA

TRANSCRIPT %u2013 ILA ITALIA
[Compiled September 9, 2010]

Interviewee: ILA ITALIA

Interviewer: Rob Stephens

Interview Date: August 6, 2010

Location: Shelby, North Carolina

Length: 33 minutes, 31 seconds

Introduction: The interview took place in the family%u2019s restaurant, Bombay Dining, so the usual

sounds associated with a restaurant and kitchen are audible throughout the interview.

ROB STEPHENS: Thank you so much for taking the time to do this.
ILA ITALIA: So what are you doing this for again? I%u2019m sorry.
RS: This is for the Earl Scruggs Center, which is going to be a music--Earl Scruggs was a bluegrass musician.
II: Oh, okay, okay.
RS: He made it really big, and he%u2019s from (Cleveland County), so they%u2019re developing a big museum and they%u2019re taking oral histories. They%u2019re doing oral histories with community members, so they wanted to do%u2026
II: %u2026So they%u2019re going to have it for the--?
RS: So my category is 21st Century, so it%u2019s about new business owners and new people that have been coming to Cleveland County, so that%u2019s part of the reason why they suggested I interview you.
II: Okay.
RS: So I%u2019m going to start off with this life history form. Actually, could I get you to start by saying your full name, your birth date and where we are?
II: Okay, my last name is Italia; my first name is Ila (e-la), and the middle initial H.
RS: And do you identify as Indian or a certain--?
II: Well, Indian-American.
RS: Indian-American.
II: I%u2019m a citizen, so Asian-American; usually that%u2019s the category.
RS: Which one do you prefer?
II: It doesn%u2019t matter. Usually, when you see the general form, they have an option--Asian-American, so that%u2019s what I choose because when you generally say Indian, people mistake you by (American) Indians.
RS: [Brief period discussing contact information for interviewee] And where were you born?
II: India.
RS: Where in India?
II: The state is Gujarat.
RS: And what is your spouse%u2019s name?
II: First name is Haresh, and last name is Italia.
RS: And do you have any children?
II: Yeah, I%u2019ve got two. One, the first name is Keshav.
RS: And what year was he born?
II: He was born in 2001. And the little one is Arjun Italia, and he was born in 2006.
RS: I have a nephew just that age.
II: Really? [Laughter] RS: Yeah.
II: A lot of fun. [Laughter] RS: Yeah, it%u2019s a fun age. And did you go to high school or anything in India?
II: I did half my high school there and I finished it here.
RS: In--?
II: In New Jersey.
RS: Okay, and so the name of your high school?
II: Elmwood Park Memorial.
RS: What year did you graduate?
II: Eighty--? Oh, god, you%u2019re sending me so back. [Pause] %u201988, I think--%u201987, %u201987.
RS: And where in New Jersey is that?
II: That%u2019s in Elmwood Park. Elmwood Park is the name of a town. Elmwood Park, New Jersey.
RS: Did you do any other school after that?
II: I did college. I went to two different colleges. One, I went to Hudson Community College.
RS: Where is that?
II: That%u2019s in Jersey City, New Jersey.
RS: I just visited Jersey City.
II: [Laughter] RS: First time in New Jersey, really.
II: It%u2019s like part of Jersey. I did engineering science from there. Then I went to NJIT--New Jersey Institute of Technology. NJIT, that%u2019s in Newark, New Jersey.
RS: ( )?
II: Chemical engineering.
RS: When did you graduate there?
II: I graduated in %u201996. I went to Devry after that. [Laughter] RS: Devry?
II: Yeah, Devry Institute. (Computer science) from there.
RS: When did you--?
II: That was %u201998. That%u2019s it.
RS: Running out of space.
II: [Laughter] RS: What%u2019s your occupational history?
II: I worked as a performance engineer, actually a software engineer.
RS: Okay.
II: That%u2019s the only occupation I did. I mean, I changed to a different company, but that%u2019s what I worked as. I haven%u2019t worked as a chemical engineer at all. [Laughter] RS: Until you came here?
II: Yes, until my first one was born, so in 2000.
RS: Then you came down here?
II: We were looking for a business, and we found one online from Shelby, so we just came and looked at it and we bought--wound up buying a convenience store in 2001.
RS: So it was a convenience store?
II: Convenience store, yeah.
RS: In town?
II: With the gas station, yeah, and we still have that.
RS: What%u2019s the name of it?
II: Curve-View.
RS: And then when did you all move here?
II: We moved here in 2002.
RS: And when did you open this restaurant?
II: This, we just opened in March, end of March.
RS: Oh?
II: Yeah, this is fairly new business.
RS: And I%u2019m embarrassed; I forgot the name before I walked in.
II: Bombay Dining.
RS: This will only take another, probably, thirty minutes. Do you have a few minutes?
II: Um-hmm.
RS: Okay, great. I often start asking people about their grandparents. Maybe you could talk about your grandparents, either on your father%u2019s side or your mother%u2019s side.
II: Well, my grandparents from my mother%u2019s side are in India. They just passed away this year, so I don%u2019t have them. Grandparents from my father%u2019s side--I had lost my grandfather when I was about two years old. Then my grandmother had moved over with the family, and she has passed away. It has been about twelve, fifteen years now. She was in New Jersey.
RS: Okay, so she came over there.
II: Yeah.
RS: So, growing up, were you with your grandparents often?
II: Yeah, my grandmother actually practically raised me, yeah.
RS: And did they have a profession?
II: My grandfather was a teacher.
RS: He was a teacher?
II: Yeah, but my grandma was just a housewife.
RS: What side is this on?
II: My father%u2019s side.
RS: Your father%u2019s side. What type of teacher was he?
II: He was a primary school teacher.
RS: Was education something that--?
II: Yeah, it was there. My father, all brothers were ( ) education. Mostly, they were all engineers, so they did pretty good while they were in India. That%u2019s how one of my uncles got to be here on, I think, a job visa. The rest of the family came after him. Two of them are mechanical engineers, and one is a pharmacist. One went and became a teacher, so they made good.
RS: Wow. That%u2019s your father%u2019s side. What about your--?
II: My mother%u2019s side, my grandfather was in the Army ( ). We had a British (government) there, so he was one of the British soldiers there. It was pretty tough. And then my uncles, my mother%u2019s brothers: one of them is a teacher; one is a doctor, and one is in business. He%u2019s got his stationery stores.
RS: So that is here or in India?
II: They are in India. My mom%u2019s side of the family, everybody is in India. Father%u2019s side, everybody is here.
RS: Was your grandfather alive during the independence war?
II: My mom%u2019s dad was there, yeah. I%u2019m sure my father%u2019s dad was there, but I was too young to recall that. Yeah, they got their independence in %u201948. I don%u2019t have many stories, but he was there; that%u2019s all I knew. [Laughter] RS: Was he involved in any of the independence?
II: Actually, he had to serve, but he was serving the government, so he didn%u2019t have so many good stories from my country, [laughter] but that was his job.
RS: How old were you when you came here?
II: I was seventeen.
RS: So what are some of your first memories of coming to the U.S.?
II: Struggling in high school, [laughter] of course. I saw that I can do that. The only problem I had was when I was in high school in India, I wasn%u2019t in the English medium school, so I had to learn the language. I was okay with the educational part of it, but with the language I was struggling. But I got things pretty okay before I graduated.
RS: Well, you had to.
II: The college was okay, compared to the high school.
RS: Oh, really? That was easier.
II: Yeah.
RS: And Hudson Community College, was that far from your home?
II: No, I was living in Jersey City at the time. When I did high school, I was living in Elmwood Park.
RS: When you came, was it a diverse school? Was it white, black--?
II: I think it was pretty okay; there was some Indian community, white, black; everybody was there. Elmwood Park is right next to Patterson. Patterson is one of the oldest towns in New Jersey. Everybody knew who you are, and everybody knew what to expect. Here, it was a different story: people see the brown skin, but they don%u2019t know who you are. Some are still thinking I%u2019m Mexican; some think I%u2019m from Middle East. People do get confused; not too many people are exposed to foreign people here. But you know how New Jersey and New York is; everybody knows everybody. Even from talking, they can tell what part of Asia you%u2019re from.
RS: Oh, yeah, exactly.
II: Because you%u2019re exposed to more multicultural people.
RS: And was there a large Indian community?
II: Yeah, definitely, yeah.
RS: What impact did the Indian community have on you?
II: Actually, it keeps the culture alive. New Jersey is a very big community there, and I guess even in India, when I was in India I was living in a hostel, in a boarding school, so what I didn%u2019t get to see there, I got to see that here.
RS: Oh, wow. So you got a little--okay.
II: Because, you know, people are so busy with their daily lives and they%u2019re looking for a person to get together and celebrate something, so they were celebrating everything and anything. We were celebrating American holidays, and we were celebrating Indian holidays, so we%u2019re like double blessed. [Laughter] RS: Yeah.
II: Same here, in Shelby too. Our Indian community is really good, really good.
RS: I want to get to that. I%u2019m going to hold back--hold back a little bit before we get to Shelby.
II: Okay. [Laughter] RS: Is your family religious?
II: I wouldn%u2019t say we%u2019re not, but we%u2019re not like, you know, you have to do this, you have to do that.
RS: Did you grow up in a religious family?
II: Yeah.
RS: Okay.
II: The faith is there.
RS: Yeah. And what faith?
II: Hindu.
RS: Okay, so can you tell that story again about how you found Shelby on a map?
II: Oh, we were looking for all different kinds of business. When I had the baby, at that time, the computer industry wasn%u2019t doing that good, so I was on layoff, and then I was ready to work--the job wasn%u2019t there. Same, my husband had his bachelor in mechanical engineer, but he did master in computer science, so he lost his job around the same time. Then we thought, you know, you have a job--a hundred thousand dollars--then in six months you don%u2019t have any work, so it%u2019s not making much sense, though--just go into business. So we were looking for just a--from the business agent, and we found the convenience store, so that%u2019s how we came in. We were just going everywhere to see what we like, and this was a smaller town and we thought it was pretty. We had one kid already, so we were looking for something not too hectic to raise the kid.
RS: Yeah.
II: So we found it pretty okay.
RS: Oh, good.
II: When we came here, actually, the first visit over to Shelby, this was an Italian restaurant here: Ni Fen. So this is the place we had our first dinner, and they had the Alive After Five (outdoor concert series) that they had yesterday, so that was our first experience in here. I liked the spot the first time I saw it.
RS: Wow, that%u2019s great.
II: Yeah, so when we got this spot, it was really a big excitement. [Laughter] RS: Wow, that%u2019s awesome. I know they%u2019ll be happy to hear that your first experience was Alive after Five.
II: Alive After Five, the first time, and we had a dinner and they had Alive After Five there, so it really wowed me, coming from New Jersey. [Laughter] RS: What had you heard about North Carolina or about the South?
II: Not too much. I heard mostly from the museum and the flight and what you read from the book. I haven%u2019t heard any first-hand experience with anybody who was from North Carolina.
RS: Okay. So did you have any expectations about what it would be like?
II: Not really, no. We were just ready to explore. When we found the place, I went on the internet and see how big that was, and, of course, the library and the hospital, so I said, %u201CBasic need is there,%u201D so it was pretty okay. The business that we liked, just coincidentally, it was Indian family who owned it, so we had one family ( ) already. We thought we found one, so I think that was enough at that time, but then they introduced us to the other community. After the kids are (grown), we went to the school and got to know a lot of other parents, so it%u2019s pretty cool.
RS: Oh, that%u2019s great.
II: [Laughter] Yeah.
RS: So that Indian family that owned that store--are they still around?
II: Oh yeah, they%u2019re still here.
RS: Okay. So you decided to buy the convenience store. I mean, that%u2019s kind of a new thing in itself.
II: It was a very new thing, yeah. We didn%u2019t have any experience. It was just a learning experience.
RS: What were some of the challenges that you faced doing that?
II: Everything, actually. When we bought the store, my husband had no idea what that is. I had worked in a pharmacy, on the register. My uncle owns a pharmacy. I had a little idea that you have to be there all the time, but it was a total shock for my husband. It was a challenge for a couple of years. We worked, like, five years full time, both of us, and after that we got pretty okay.
RS: Did you hire some other people to work there?
II: Yeah, yeah, they are running the store now. We%u2019ve got one store there. We have another store on 74.
RS: Okay.
II: Now it%u2019s running through the employees, and we%u2019re pretty okay.
RS: And do you have plans to buy more?
II: We%u2019re actually thinking to open one right here on the square, either on this one or that corner.
RS: A gas station?
II: No, just a convenience store, just for the downtown area here.
RS: Oh, yeah. That%u2019s not a bad idea.
II: Yeah, there isn%u2019t any around here, so we%u2019re thinking about that.
RS: Great, great.
II: Could be in a month or two.
RS: You mentioned that people didn%u2019t really know what to think of what race you are.
II: Yeah, especially when we were working in the convenience store. A lot of people, they knew the family who owned the store before, so most of them thought that we were just the family. The other thought we came from Mexico. That%u2019s all, I think the other race, they were exposed to. So that was all--they didn%u2019t know anything else. [Laughter] RS: Did you have any interesting interactions about race with some of the white or black?
II: No, that was it. Mostly, still, even today, I get Mexican a lot. Even, my kids go to day care--same place for, I think, three years now--and the other day, the teacher came and asked me if I knew a Spanish word for something. I said, %u201CWe%u2019re not Spanish! I don%u2019t know.%u201D I wish I knew, but I didn%u2019t know. [Laughter] They still--you know.
RS: Wow. That%u2019s something. So what was your first impression when you started to live in Shelby? About Shelby, but more about Southern culture?
II: We got so drastically busy with the new business, so I guess that helped us settle down. We didn%u2019t really have much time when we were here, but afterwards, the lifestyle is very relaxing and comfortable, and you take time to breathe. Unlike in North, it%u2019s always rushing, rushing; you%u2019re running for the train, you%u2019re running for the subway, you%u2019re running for anything and everything. You have seconds; you%u2019re counting seconds. Here, you can smell the air, so I like that about it here. [Laughter] RS: What are some of the things that the Indian community here does together?
II: Oh, we do mostly the holidays%u2026
RS: %u2026Okay. What are some of those%u2026?
II: %u2026that also involve the New Year--the end of the year--just like we have Christmas here. We celebrate Christmas also. Our god%u2019s name is Krishna, so we celebrate his birthday also, same day we do the Christmas. We also have a temple in Spartanburg, and we%u2019ve got two temples in Charlotte. Usually, when the kids get married, it%u2019s also performed as a Hindu culture wedding, so we get to enjoy that also. You know, we always had that in India, but we are getting the Indian priest and we sing, and then we%u2019re also happy that the kids get to see the whole ceremony. For me, when I was there I only got to see--like once or twice--that was close family. But here, we%u2019re getting the times for the kids to get to explore through all the things also. For the local, with anything that%u2019s locally happening, we%u2019ve got a booth for the Relay for Life; we%u2019re doing that.
RS: Oh, great.
II: Even small things, we%u2019re getting together, and we do charity for the Red Cross and everything, so they are pretty active. For a small town, it%u2019s pretty good.
RS: And are there other business owners in the community?
II: Mostly, they are business people here, yeah. The family that we bought the store from have the Day%u2019s Inn right now. They own the Day%u2019s Inn. I have another good friend who is also owner of the--it used to be EconoLodge--now it%u2019s America%u2019s Best Value. And a couple of other families that I know have convenience stores.
RS: How do you think Indian-American culture is different from, say, like your--is it your mother%u2019s family that%u2019s still over there? So, like a kid growing up there, versus your son--?
II: Even in India right now, when I was growing up it was a different time. I have cousins who are growing up; some are in college; some are still young, but they are way different than what I was. We were not so much exposed to other culture. Now, they mostly are on the internet. So many are out in different countries for the schooling and everything, so it%u2019s very different. Not too much different between my kids and, let%u2019s say, my nephews in India.
RS: Wow.
II: Very, very advanced.
RS: In Shelby, North Carolina and ( )--.
II: [Laughter] ( ). A lot of--even now, young guys and girls are working in multi-national companies, so they are more exposed to foreign cultures than when I was growing up. I guess my parents%u2019 generation wasn%u2019t too sure what%u2019s out there, and with these kids, their parents know what it is, so they are less afraid of letting the kids go out.
RS: Exactly.
II: It%u2019s pretty comparable.
RS: I%u2019m just thinking about two traditions, and excuse me if I%u2019m being--. Has the tradition of arranged marriages come over here as well?
II: Oh, yeah, yeah--both. The parents are equally accepting both ways.
RS: So the children usually get to accept or--?
II: Oh, yeah, yeah.
RS: Okay. Do you think your children will?
II: However they like it, yeah.
RS: Okay.
II: I have chosen my husband. I wasn%u2019t arranged to be married, so--. [Laughter] RS: Okay, so even yours?
II: Yeah. And I got married in India, so even at that time, people were okay.
RS: Did you get married at seventeen?
II: No, I was twenty.
RS: So you went back?
II: Yeah, I went back. I did my high school, went to college, and after, I think, one or two semesters I went back.
RS: And how did you meet your husband?
II: When I was studying there, his sister and cousin were my roommates, so I knew the family. [Laughter] RS: And how about the--I don%u2019t know if there is a better term for it--the caste system?

Has that come over here as much?

II: No, not really, no. They are saying, %u201CYou are from India and you are from your country,%u201D so not so much.
RS: So are there are different castes here in Shelby?
II: Not so much different castes, but we%u2019re from different parts of the same states.
RS: Oh, same states?
II: Yeah, we have different dialogues. If I was speaking--our language name is Gujarati--if I was speaking Gujarati, like I just mentioned my friend who owns the motel, when she speaks Gujarati, she has a different dialogue. So, mostly they%u2019re talking in English, but we do understand if we take time, but it%u2019s almost like different culture, even though we%u2019re being from the same state.
RS: So it%u2019s mostly the same caste?
II: Yeah, yeah, and I guess even if there were, it%u2019s not an issue. It%u2019s not a primary thing, so everyone is equal. [Laughter] RS: And do you think your children will speak Gujarati?
II: Not too much because I am not talking too much, but they do understand. They do understand because my in-laws live with me. My friends were just visiting; they just left two days ago, so they talk in Gujarati. Sometimes they can%u2019t answer back, but they understand.
RS: I have Indian friends who regret not keeping their language, because they travel to India now that they%u2019re my age, and they can%u2019t--.
II: And it%u2019s something that only they can pass on, so I don%u2019t see that my kids will have a communicating problem. But if they know it, they will give it to their kids, so that%u2019s the main thing, I guess.
RS: And I guess one of your children is in school now?
II: Yeah, he has just finished the third grade; he%u2019s going to fourth.
RS: And does he ever come home with stories about kids not knowing which--?
II: Actually, he was born here, so he was getting a lot that he was from Mexico. He had to ask me why they said it, and I said because our skin tone is almost the same, his dark hair, curly hair, and the brown; but then he understands.
RS: Okay. Does he make many good white and black friends?
II: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He is totally a Shelby boy, yeah. He has joined the Cub Scouts, and he%u2019s all active in that, and we support that.
RS: Oh, that%u2019s great. That%u2019s great. Were there any people that stand out in your mind as being welcoming outside the Indian community that are local Shelby folks?
II: The people that we were dealing with business-wise, that%u2019s the first families we got in touch with. The first convenience store we bought, we had a gas station with it. The company who was supplying the gas, we got to know them, so they%u2019re pretty good friends with us, the Royster family. Have you ever heard of Royster Oil?
RS: Yeah, I just passed it.
II: Yeah, and then through the business, we got to know a lot of people. And then after my son went to school, so through the school I got to know a lot of people. They all are just wonderful.
RS: Have you gotten a sense of racial issues in the South between black and white having--maybe of the history behind it down here? Is that something that you%u2019ve started to kind of get a sense of?
II: Oh, I had heard the stories, but I haven%u2019t--anything seen visually. I mean, if like, I go out and I see anything, I don%u2019t see anything.
RS: If you were going to talk to your cousin in India, how would you describe Shelby to them?
II: Well, now with the Facebook, they know each day and everything. [Laughter] RS: Oh, they do?
II: Yeah.
RS: Imagine they don%u2019t have Facebook. [Laughter] II: [Laughter] They know we have our cultural life, the traditional holidays that we celebrate, and they also know that kids go through the regular holidays here. They celebrate Halloween and Christmas, even throughout the school, so they got to know about American culture also.
RS: Would you recommend Shelby to some of your cousins, or to%u2026
II: %u2026Oh, definitely%u2026
RS: %u2026other Indians to come here?
II: Yeah, yeah.
RS: So how would you pitch it to them?
II: Oh, most of my family members have been here. I%u2019m the oldest kid in the family, so they are so, you know, grown in North; it%u2019s too slow for them. [Laughter] They were driving on our main road, on 74, and they said, %u201CWe don%u2019t hardly see any traffic there,%u201D and that%u2019s something that they are just born with and grew up with, so, for them, it%u2019s a different culture. When they drive here they think this is like a residence area, but this is our prime downtown here. So, some really like it; and some, they have so much to explore there in North, so it%u2019s too slow for them. [Laughter] RS: Are y%u2019all members of the Chamber of Commerce?
II: No, we%u2019re not. My husband, we%u2019re still getting settled. We%u2019ve got a business in Greensboro.
RS: You%u2019ve got another business?
II: Yeah, we%u2019ve got two more. And one in Charlotte, so he%u2019s in Charlotte right now at the business.
RS: Oh, so he%u2019s traveling a lot.
II: We have a wholesale center for the convenience store. The one in Charlotte, we just opened it; it%u2019s been about two months. He%u2019s been going a couple of days a week.
RS: Oh, wow. Y%u2019all are expanding.
II: Yeah, we%u2019re still struggling to getting settled, so you know, [laughter] time is running out. We%u2019re in our forties, so before we get to fifty we want to get done. [Laughter] RS: Do you think you will be in Shelby for a good while?
II: I think we will be. We have a house and we%u2019re looking for another one. Since we bought another business in Charlotte, when we first moved in I was worrying if the kid is going to get a good education or not, but when I started taking them out for the day care and got to know the parents and got to know all the doctors and all this, I thought it was pretty okay. So my mom was just asking if I was buying another house, why don%u2019t I just move to Charlotte because now I have two kids and I have to look for two different schools? I just told her that Shelby is like the place that I was born in India. That%u2019s how I feel about Shelby now.
RS: Oh, wow.
II: [Laughter] Yeah.
RS: That%u2019s great.
II: I just feel at home right now, yeah. It%u2019s pretty okay.
RS: And you mentioned it already, but this is my second-to-last question: About downtown here and opening up, what do you think the downtown or Shelby will--how do you think it will be different in fifteen years from now?
II: I think we%u2019re going to get more multicultural and advance in business also, because I see a lot of big companies are moving in because we%u2019re exposed to more land here. Also, a lot of people are looking for a job, so it%u2019s good for us and good for someone who moves in also. I think we%u2019re going to progress pretty big in the next five years. That%u2019s what I%u2019m thinking.
RS: That would be great.
II: Yeah.
RS: My last question, and we always ask this: Was there anything that I%u2019ve left out or that you wish I had asked or something about Shelby?
II: You covered, I think, almost everything.
RS: Is there anything that you think people in the museum would want to hear?
II: Oh, I cannot praise enough Shelby. [Laughter] I feel right at home, like I said. This is very next to in my heart as my birth town is. It%u2019s only been eight years and I feel that way, so I%u2019m sure my kids are even more a test to this place than I am, and I am fine with that.
RS: Well, thank you so much for your time.
II: Thank you. Thank you so much.

END OF INTERVIEW
Transcribed by Mike Hamrick, September 9, 2010
Edited by Glenda Blanton, April 19, 2011
Sound quality: good (restaurant noise in background)